10,000 Reasons

They say everything happens for a reason. There are times in our lives and situations where it becomes impossible to believe this. It seems much easier to blame God. That is something I never believed in the two years I watched what seemed like endless suffering. I prayed. We all prayed, and yet literally every day was more bad news. Of course I became angry with God. How can you not after seeing two of the most important people in your life suffer terribly. But I never stopped believing. In the end, our prayers were not answered. So, surprisingly God is who I turned to for strength....sometimes just to keep breathing when the truth of my new normal became real. For months, Jason and I had long conversations about life, God, and the future. I started to feel a pull...sort of a fire starting. I ignored it. Jason grew up in church but started to struggle with his own beliefs and wanted to find the truth. So he began to read the bible and take notes. The subject of religion and God kept coming up, so we started attending a local non denominational church and instantly loved it. The people were incredibly nice and Noah and Nora loved it. The pull in me became stronger again and became impossible to ignore. At the end of each service you are invited to come up and pray or be baptized. I would stand there and wonder what it was like. There were numerous sermons that I really could identify with and at the end of service, in that short time of opportunity, my heart would pound. The feeling was overwhelming. After that, Jason and I talked for hours one night about it. About how everything happens for a reason. How some of the huge decisions we were in the process of making, would not be happening had my mom and dad still been alive. Dreams were starting to feel like a reality and yet I felt like there was something missing. In those few short months, Jason became confident in his new faith and beliefs. He felt like they were right for him and no longer struggled. So last week we made a decision and contacted one of the family's we had gotten to know. So this morning, we stood together holding hands and together we were baptized. Such an overwhelming feeling! The gap now feels complete. I look back at my life and cannot believe it was mine. How do you go from perfection, to what seems like hell on earth and then slowly becoming perfect again. I am blessed. Incredibly blessed!! I am complemented every single time my family is out together on how beautiful my family is. My children are healthy and thriving, I have this big family that I feel like I can count on when I need them. And now I have God. I feel like chapter one is over. Life is new and opportunities are endless. One year ago I would have never thought it could be like this again. So, I can truly say that I am overwhelmed with grace today.  There IS a reason for everything and everything will eventually fall into place if you just hold on and believe. 

http://youtu.be/XtwIT8JjddM