So incredibly excited to go away for the weekend with Jason! I really just have no idea where we are going..(well, i kind of have an idea) Honestly I don't care where we go. I just want to spend 3 days not having to worry about anything. Not about who needs to eat, what they are going to eat, who needs a bath..etc. I told Jason that for all I care, we can just sit in a hotel room for 3 days and just sleep. I don't remember what it is like not having anything to do in the morning. I have big plans to come back stress free!
Nothing else new this week, just felt like writing. Hopefully I will have some amazing pictures of where we are going this weekend and I cant wait to tell you all about it! Oh!! and here is a picture of sweet baby Emily! SO excited to have another baby in the family xo
meet my niece! Emily Marie. Isn't she just beautiful!
Happy Mothers day friends! This mothers day has been all kinds of crazy! This is the first year without my mom. WOW, does it really hit you when you see everyone else with their moms, taking pictures, buying cards, spending the day together. This is not so fun.Even through all of this, I have felt very overwhelmed these last few days with a feeling of total happiness. I have been through hell and back, back to hell, and now I'm doing everything in my power to pick up the pieces of my crazy, out of control life. Through all of the pain, I find peace with my family. Total happiness. I feel so incredibly lucky to sit here and think back on my life and realize that almost everything I have dreamed of has come true. I married my best friend! Jason and I saved and worked our butts off to be able to live the way we want. I have two of the most incredible children a mom could ask for. Now all I need to do it move my butt to South Carolina. That WILL happen, just not so soon. So, life has really thrown me some nasty hits..an I mean nasty, but the past few days, it doesn't feel so dark. I feel like I have the strength to get through this. I pray that God can give me a break for awhile and let me try to make a new normal!
Aside from that, My sister had her sweet little Emily today. I'm so incredibly excited and cannot wait to hold her. Jason and I took the monsters to the zoo and were only there about 45 min when we had to leave. After a few hours she was here! I am so incredibly proud of Katie for braving what she feared and in the end, she has a beautiful baby girl! I cannot think of a more incredible way to spend mothers day than bringing life into the world. Such an amazing day. Now that that is all over, I get to spend the next week trying to figure out where Jason is taking me for our anniversary! I'm pretty sure I already know, but ill just go with it. Cannot wait to get the heck out of here!!
Soon after my mom passed, I found a picture. This picture just was so incredibly romantic. I love how it captured a moment, unknown to them. They were so much in love. I fell in love with this picture and decided that I needed to have my own version with Jason. Now, obviously its not the same. We had a photographer, and we couldn't exactly go to the same place because really, I have no idea where that picture was taken. All, I know is I am so happy that we did it. My parents remind me so much of Jason and I. They fought over the tiny stuff, but for the most part were just incredibly happy. Most people would say best friends. That is exactly how I feel about Jason, he is my best friend, and I love him more than words! xo
Right now I am obsessed with shopping! I feel like retail therapy is totally real. Nothing puts me in a better mood than a good old trip to target..or more recently, Andreas. between the cheap clothes and the AMAZING accessories, I cannot help but smile!
Right now I LOVE my Pentax Camera! It took me FOREVER to try to figure this thing out, but playing with buttons helps, and so does my 50mm lens. Money well spent for sure. My camera has become almost an extension of me, and I want to take it with me everywhere. I have fallen on love with taking pictures of my beautiful family.
Right now I am reading 50 shades of grey. HOLY MOLY is this book intense and I'm not even done yet. I'm telling you, I have moments where I have to look away, and I even need to take breaks sometimes. But all in all, it sucks you in to its craziness! everyone loves a good trashy love story sometimes right?
Right now I am looking forward to my sisters baby. She has 3 weeks left and I cannot wait to be there to meet that sweet little girl. I am very excited because she (so far) has allowed me to be in the room for delivery. I realize that there are so many of you that think I am crazy, but the two funnest days of my life were the days I had my children. Giving birth was fun for me! Yep, I said it..FUN! after the epidural its go time! Having Jason's incredible sense of humor and an amazing doctor, made it the best days ever and I cannot wait for Katie to have that experience too.
Right now I am having fun photo journaling! Got a smash journal from Michaels and let me tell you, it is super fun to fill up. Printing all the pictures I can and writing about life is total therapy which I really need right now. I would recommend one of those to everyone. They also make travel ones which I cannot WAIT to use! ( which brings me to my next topic..)
Right now I'm planning a vacation to Charleston South Carolina! I realize that Jason and I have been there twice, but we have never stayed there. just visited for the day. We have big plans to up and leave the monsters for a week and venture off by ourselves for the first time. I love having adventures with Jason, and that is what they are..adventures. We have so much fun together and I cannot wait to get out of here!
Right now I'm SO incredibly glad I cut my hair off! I'm telling you, there is nothing worse than having long ugly hair. Some would say it was not ugly, but of course I know how to mask the unhealthy mess that it it really was. I was bored, and it was thin and fried! Short platinum fun hair makes my heart race!
Right now I'm thinking that I really need to go to bed and sleep! the past few nights I have been up late and up early. It has been a crazy last few days and I'm pretty exhausted! So, I will end this with some pics of my beautiful kiddos during the past few days. Thanks for reading! Have a great night. XO
Wow! It has been a little while since I have written anything! Honestly there has been nothing exciting happening except for the chaos of planning a funeral, and dealing with mom and dads house. Trying to get all of that together is crazy stressful. With everything going on, I have not had any time to take care of my own house and had gotten very behind on everything. Thankfully my mother in law took my kids today and I got everything done! It just feels so good to sit here on the couch and know that there is nothing that I need to do. After dinner, I took Nora for a walk just to get out of the house. It is just gorgeous here and I love going for walks in my neighborhood. I think Nora loves it too! Hopefully things will settle down soon and Jason and I can get out and have some adventures. Until then, I'm just going to keep moving...one day at a time! Hope everyone had a great day! xo
Today was Easter! It was Nora's first Easter, and also the first holiday that I have celebrated without my mom and dad. We decided this year that instead of going to Grandmas that we would go to the park and celebrate. GREAT idea. The weather really could not have been more beautiful. When I first got there today it was a lot harder than I expected.. then after trying to get my crabby little Nora to sleep , Jason's decided to take her for a drive. I had to go..needed to clear my mind and run away for a minute. As the day went on, it got easier which I knew it would. It just turned out to be a a beautiful day. I cannot think of anywhere else I would have liked to spend this holiday that outside on maybe one of the most beautiful days we have had in a long time. Being with my family makes my world a better place. I totally feel like I made it over a hurdle today and I know that there are going to be many more ahead, but I can do it! God has given me more strength that I realize and I just have todig deeper some days more than others. I know I can do it though because with God, anything is possible! xo
bright breen trees...clear blue skies...beatuiful day
In the past year and a half, I have learned that love is one of the most powerful emotions a human can have. As babies, we only know the love of our parents, and we feel so much love for them. As we get older, we have dreams of fairy tales and finding true love! As teenagers, some of us go through many people that we think we love, only to end up moving on a few months later. As adults, we learn that there are many versions of love. I have learned by talking to many of my clients and friends, that love is just not the same for all of us. Some people do not need a man or a woman to feel love. They have their friends, and family and that is really all they need. One lady I recently talked to has a very strong love for her grand kids. That is all that she needs and just cannot imagine a day without them. Some can go totally without it from the opposite sex and are completely content with just the love from their friends, sisters/brothers, mom and dad. I'm am not by any means saying that there is something wrong with that kind of love, I am just saying it is a little different for all of us. I have watched in the past year and a half a very great act of love. The day my mom got sick, my dad was there by her side everyday, I mean EVERY DAY! He quit working, gave up his hobbies, and put everything on hold for my mom. He encouraged her through all of her treatments and was there telling her that she was going to make it! Unfortunately, cancer showed a very ugly face and devoured her week by week. My mom and dad were best friends. He told us that when she was gone, he would just keep going. He told us that we were all he needed. We prayed and encouraged him through it all. Within weeks after her death, his cancer had returned with a vengeance( he was diagnosed in 2005). He had never did any of those things he promised he would. It hurts so bad to see him and know that he just wants my mom back. He would give anything. Now, just short of 6 months he is right were my mom was. Turns out he could not live without her. Cancer is a very terrible disease and I would not wish it on my worst enemy, but I'm not 100% convinced that it is the exact reason he is dying. Love is very powerful and his heart is broken. My dad lost his best friend. After 36 years of marriage, I cannot imagine the pain of losing you best friend in the world. I am so sad to see my dad go, but more than anything I understand that kind of love. Jason and I have been through hell and back and really, back to hell. I cannot imagine a single day without my best friend. There is no worse pain than watching someone you love suffer so I am just going to pray for God to send my mom down to take my dads hand and lead him with her back to heaven. Where they can finally be together with no more pain, and no more suffering. As sad as it is , it puts a smile on my face knowing that any day now they will be back in each others arms forever.
