Feelin hot hot hot!

ITS HOT, its really really hot today. These are the days that I am ready for fall. I am hoping that by then, I will be in a better place mentally and that I can really sit back and enjoy it this year. I am ready for the trees to turn pretty colors (although they really wont since it NEVER RAINS!). I am ready for fires in the fire pit with my best friends.I am ready for s'mores! I am ready to start my yearly collection of fall smelling candles. I love the way my house smells in the fall. I want to put on a hoodie and sit on my front porch with a blanket and read for hours. I want to open up all the windows on a cloudy cool day and and just do nothing with the kids. I want to rake the leaves in the front yard and let Noah go to town in them. I really hate to rush the seasons, because God knows I am NOT ready for winter. It is just too HOT!! SO, until the weather cools down and the leaves start to change I will take in as much of summer as I can and enjoy my pretty flowers and the fact that I have not had to buy basil, cilantro, or parsley this year! HORRAY for growing herbs! Hope everyone has a COOL day!xo

looking for inspiration

Happy Monday! Not ready for reality after a short weekend. Got a date night at the boathouse with Jason and a girls day with Nora on Sunday. I also had a lot of inspiration this weekend and I feel like I spend everyday trying to figure out what it is I want out of life. Since the death of my parents, I find it impossible to go back to the life that once was. I honestly don't want to. I feel like my life has been separated into three parts. The part where everyone was here, happy, and healthy, the part where they were sick, and now the new part. The part I'm trying to figure out. I feel like lately I have so much anger. I don't want to feel angry. I'm so tired of seeing all of the bad days from the past in my head. I'm just not sure how to get rid of them I want to move forward so bad and it is alot harder than anyone could ever imagine. When you grow up in a family that is extremely close, and then all of the sudden, its over, it tears you up and leaves scars that I know will never go away. So, in the meantime, I'm trying to figure out who I am, what I want, and where I need to be. I am so thankful that I have a husband that puts up with my crazy mood swings and listens to me say the same things over and over. Healing is hard, and takes time. For right now, I go out of my way to surround myself with positive things in life that make me happy, and inspire me. Hope you all find something this week that inspires you as well! xo

                                                    and of course, a few of the kids......

lazy Wednesday

Today has just been one of those days. Started out pretty not so good, but it has settled down now and so have I. Nora is in bed and Noah is at Grandmas. SO, I get a few minutes to myself to do nothing. Trying to not think about the laundry piling up or that the dishes need to be put in the dishwasher. IT is so hard sometimes to just stop and not worry about the little things. The clothes aren't going anywhere and neither are the dishes. Got the kiddos outside in this gorgeous weather to take some pictures of their pretty faces. Of course Noah just refuses to take pictures so I never get many of him. Nora, on the other hand is a supermodel! I love these two. So incredibly thankful that I get to spend most of my time with them even though sometimes they make me nutty! xo

Its been awhile!

Wow, I really need to keep up with this! Life has been so incredibly crazy the past few weeks that I have not had a chance to even relax. Well, lets start with vacation. Charleston, the most beautiful place in America, to me. Jason totally surprised me. I really just had no idea. Once I got to the gate after chasing planes for 3 hours, the excitement was crazy! Everyone on that plane was sleepy and it was dark and late. I was a mess! I couldn't shut up.I was just so incredibly excited about going back. All we kept saying on the plane was "we are going to Charleston!" I have been wanting to go back for some time now and I really just could not believe it was happening. Charleston is so full of history and beauty. We talked to a couple of people that moved there after visiting once! The plane ride back, a guy was talking about moving there. Charleston just draws you in. I feel so at home there. The people are incredibly nice and this may sound silly, but everyone there is just really well dressed. LOVE the style down there. Well, the good news is that we are talking about going back in October so that puts a smile on my face. Cannot wait to get back to the place that I have fallen madly in love with.

  In other news, my babies are just growing up like crazy. In the past month, Noah potty trained himself. I am so proud of him. He just one day started telling me he had to go potty, and has not had an accident since. I'm a very lucky girl. Nora has also started crawling.She is a very silly girl Noah brings his toys out to play, and she starts crawling toward him with that silly little grin on her face and Noah freaks out. He just does not want her playing with his toys. So, he runs away, and she turns to me and smiles and laughs. Nora is going to be something else. I love watching my little monsters grow but it makes me sad that I cant snuggle them the way that they let you when they are tiny.We just are not sure we want any more. These two are crazy.I guess that is really all that is going on in our lives. Trying to slow down and enjoy the summer. Still taking life one day at a time! Hope you all have a beautiful day!

                                 

just because

So incredibly excited to go away for the weekend with Jason! I really just have no idea where we are going..(well, i kind of have an idea) Honestly I don't care where we go. I just want to spend 3 days not having to worry about anything. Not about who needs to eat,  what they are going to eat, who needs a bath..etc. I told Jason that for all I care, we can just sit in a hotel room for 3 days and just sleep. I don't remember what it is like not having anything to do in the morning. I have big plans to come back stress free!


Nothing else new this week, just felt like writing. Hopefully I will have some amazing pictures of where we are going this weekend and I cant wait to tell you all about it! Oh!! and here is a picture of sweet baby Emily! SO excited to have another baby in the family
xo 

meet my niece! Emily Marie. Isn't she just beautiful!

mothers day!

Happy Mothers day friends! This mothers day has been all kinds of crazy! This is the first year without my mom. WOW, does it really hit you when you see everyone else with their moms, taking pictures, buying cards, spending the day together. This is not so fun.Even through all of this, I have felt very overwhelmed these last few days with a feeling of total happiness. I have been through hell and back, back to hell, and now I'm doing everything in my power to pick up the pieces of my crazy, out of control life. Through all of the pain, I find peace with my family. Total happiness. I feel so incredibly lucky to sit here and think back on my life and realize that almost everything I have dreamed of has come true. I married my best friend! Jason and I saved and worked our butts off to be able to live the way we want. I have two of the most incredible children a mom could ask for. Now all I need to do it move my butt to South Carolina. That WILL happen, just not so soon. So, life has really thrown me some nasty hits..an I mean nasty, but the past few days, it doesn't feel so dark. I feel like I have the strength to get through this. I pray that God can give me a break for awhile and let me try to make a new normal!

Aside from that, My sister had her sweet little Emily today. I'm so incredibly excited and cannot wait to hold her. Jason and I took the monsters to the zoo and were only there about 45 min when we had to leave. After a few hours she was here! I am so incredibly proud of Katie for braving what she feared and in the end, she has a beautiful baby girl! I cannot think of a more incredible way to spend mothers day  than bringing life into the world. Such an amazing day. Now that that is all over, I get to spend the next week trying to figure out where Jason is taking me for our anniversary! I'm pretty sure I already know, but ill just go with it. Cannot wait to get the heck out of here!!

xo

Best friends

Soon after my mom passed, I found a picture. This picture just was so incredibly romantic. I love how it captured a moment, unknown to them. They were so much in love. I fell in love with this picture and decided that I needed to have my own version with Jason. Now, obviously its not the same. We had a photographer, and we couldn't exactly go to the same place because really, I have no idea where that picture was taken. All, I know is I am so happy that we did it. My parents remind me so much of Jason and I. They fought over the tiny stuff, but for the most part were just incredibly happy. Most people would say best friends. That is exactly how I feel about Jason, he is my best friend, and I love him more than words! xo

P.S. thanks Mark for being awesome!