Feelin hot hot hot!

ITS HOT, its really really hot today. These are the days that I am ready for fall. I am hoping that by then, I will be in a better place mentally and that I can really sit back and enjoy it this year. I am ready for the trees to turn pretty colors (although they really wont since it NEVER RAINS!). I am ready for fires in the fire pit with my best friends.I am ready for s'mores! I am ready to start my yearly collection of fall smelling candles. I love the way my house smells in the fall. I want to put on a hoodie and sit on my front porch with a blanket and read for hours. I want to open up all the windows on a cloudy cool day and and just do nothing with the kids. I want to rake the leaves in the front yard and let Noah go to town in them. I really hate to rush the seasons, because God knows I am NOT ready for winter. It is just too HOT!! SO, until the weather cools down and the leaves start to change I will take in as much of summer as I can and enjoy my pretty flowers and the fact that I have not had to buy basil, cilantro, or parsley this year! HORRAY for growing herbs! Hope everyone has a COOL day!xo

looking for inspiration

Happy Monday! Not ready for reality after a short weekend. Got a date night at the boathouse with Jason and a girls day with Nora on Sunday. I also had a lot of inspiration this weekend and I feel like I spend everyday trying to figure out what it is I want out of life. Since the death of my parents, I find it impossible to go back to the life that once was. I honestly don't want to. I feel like my life has been separated into three parts. The part where everyone was here, happy, and healthy, the part where they were sick, and now the new part. The part I'm trying to figure out. I feel like lately I have so much anger. I don't want to feel angry. I'm so tired of seeing all of the bad days from the past in my head. I'm just not sure how to get rid of them I want to move forward so bad and it is alot harder than anyone could ever imagine. When you grow up in a family that is extremely close, and then all of the sudden, its over, it tears you up and leaves scars that I know will never go away. So, in the meantime, I'm trying to figure out who I am, what I want, and where I need to be. I am so thankful that I have a husband that puts up with my crazy mood swings and listens to me say the same things over and over. Healing is hard, and takes time. For right now, I go out of my way to surround myself with positive things in life that make me happy, and inspire me. Hope you all find something this week that inspires you as well! xo

                                                    and of course, a few of the kids......

lazy Wednesday

Today has just been one of those days. Started out pretty not so good, but it has settled down now and so have I. Nora is in bed and Noah is at Grandmas. SO, I get a few minutes to myself to do nothing. Trying to not think about the laundry piling up or that the dishes need to be put in the dishwasher. IT is so hard sometimes to just stop and not worry about the little things. The clothes aren't going anywhere and neither are the dishes. Got the kiddos outside in this gorgeous weather to take some pictures of their pretty faces. Of course Noah just refuses to take pictures so I never get many of him. Nora, on the other hand is a supermodel! I love these two. So incredibly thankful that I get to spend most of my time with them even though sometimes they make me nutty! xo