Goodbye 2012!!!

Last New Years eve, I swore that this year would be better. That only good things would happen, that I would have the strength to make it through all of the bad stuff. Well, the only thing I was right about, was the strength. Although sometimes I don't think that was what it was. I simply just kept moving I dodnt havea choice. On those days where I literally felt like I was out of my mind, You cant even describe the feeling of being so incredibly overwhelmed. I have changd in so many ways. The last two years have shaped me into who I am now. 3 years ago I would have NEVER thought that I would lose my mom and dad in less than 6 months. Sometimes I just panic when I realize that its real life. Its not a bad dream. Like I said in yesterdays post, I am very excited about the year to come and I have no expectations. The only plan I have is to live life. We only get ONE go. As hard as it is sometimes, we must make it a beautiful life, try to see the beauty in everything and Thank God for what we have!

Just a few randoms from the year!

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Incredibly excited!

      So incredibly excited about all of the newness happening in my life right now! Last week, I started a new job! I was unhappy for a long time where I was, and the situation just got pretty nasty. SO, I did what I had to do and I fixed it. I started at a new place immediately and I love it. All of the girls there are so nice and went out of their way to come introduce themselves to me. It is a beautiful salon where things are kept up very nicely and everyone does their part. It feels so good to go to work now and not have to spend my day getting sucked into someone elses drama. I didn't realize until after I was gone, what a toxic environment that was there. Thank you God for giving me the guts to do what I did.
  
  Also new and exciting, is that i am starting  project this year that I am thrilled about. Its called project life. After the past two years, I realize now how incredibly important every day in our lives is. I will be documenting every week for 2013! I REALLY hope that I can find the motivation to keep this up. I think the hardest part is going to be the pictures! I am also going to have to try to not be so boring and get out more! So hard with two kids!! Anyways, that's whats new and exciting with me. Cannot wait to see what 2013bringto the table, but so far, the end of 2012 has been amazing!

http://beckyhiggins.com/

baby its cold outside!

Spent today with Nora mostly. Noah had school and went to bed as soon as he came home!

Really got nothing done today which is OK. Today was one of those days

that was best spent in bed all day. 20 degrees!!! I'm pretty sure non of us are ready

for winter. Had big plans to get up and walk/run/attempt to run this morning, but after seeing the forecast...back to bed I went. My warm husband wins over working out.

Had a bit of fun with the camera today! Enjoy!

Hope everyone stays warm tonight!

xo

 

 

 

 

 

just rambling...

 

 

 

Its been awhile....I keep saying that I am going to get better at this blog thing and post more often, but really, its not hard for my day to get a little nutty. I'm making goals though this year and this is one of them . Along with taking up running...(hmmm...), saving more money, and actually PRINTING the pictures I have of the kids. I just wish life was a little less stressful. I need to learn to slow down and stop spending my day running after my little monsters cleaning up their messes because I don't want my house to look messy. They just end up making a bigger mess behind me. I need to learn to surrender to the fact that I have kids!!! They are messy! There is a little corner in my family room that I have for them to draw and do crafts. I try to organize and clean that everyday. For what? I need to stay away from the home decorating magazines. My home is not going to look like a pottery barn magazine until the kids move out. I need to just relax and enjoy them. Spending my days off cleaning all day is not so fun. I have two adorable fun kids that are only going to be little for a little while longer. My biggest goal...is to suck up all the time I can with them and to just let them be kids! Hope everyone is having a great day! xo

One year

  One year ago today we lost a beautiful woman, my best friend, my mother.  Looking back on the days right before, I remember praying that it would end. When you have never watched someone suffer like that, you don't really understand when someone says to you, "I just wish it was over". And then you watch it happen. I realized just yesterday that I don't remember what she looked like at the end. Thank God for that. I have seen to much and I pray I never have to do it again. I remember the last normal conversation that I had with her. It was about salad dressing of all things. But it has stuck in my head  and I was so happy that she could just talk to me like we always did....about nothing really. I miss how she would make me feel better when something was going wrong. She never told me to just not worry about things, but would let me just talk and talk about something bothering me and never acted like it wasn't important. I miss our Wednesday and Sunday night talks on the patio with everyone. My dad usually telling us about something horrible he did as a teenager and us spilling our secrets. All the time my mom just sat there and laughed, enjoying the company. Most of all I miss her with Noah. My heart breaks thinking about how she will never see him grow up. She never really got to know Nora and that also kills me. Noah doesn't remember her, and Nora never had the chance to. The one thing that makes me smile a little, is knowing that my mom and dad are together. There are no words as to how terrible it is to watch your dad suffer without his best friend. I miss them both so much and nothing is the same. It never will be. I try everyday to make it feel normal, but it doesn't. I have moments when I cannot believe that it is real, that it really happened. I cannot believe that I am without my mom and dad. They were incredible people! I am so thankful to God forgiving me 28 years with them. They both live on in my hear forever.

life...

  It has been so long since I posted anything on here and I feel terrible about it. Life has been full lately with kids, work, and just getting things done. Things have been going ok the last few weeks. I have been a little stresses the past few weeks with Noah because of his eye. If you remember, he had surgery back in July to fix a droopy eyelid. He did amazing, and his eye was perfect. Well, about 3 weeks ago he got pink eye and it started to droop again. I took home to the plastic surgeon and was told that it was irritated and would go back. So far, no good. I am hoping and praying that God will take care of this being as I do not wan to out him through surgery again and I fear that kids are mean. I realize that this is a tiny issue and sometimes I feel like a terrible mother for caring about it as much as I do. I am just a little tired of nothing working out the way I pray for it too. Life isn't easy, but a little break every now and then would be fantastic.
 
  Jason and I got to get away this week and take a little trip to Asheville North Carolina. I was wanting a trip that would be relaxing. It has been amazing. We got a cabin in the woods that is BEAUTIFUL and we have spent much of the week exploring the blue ridge mountains. I have never hiked before and I loved every minute of it. Nothing too strenuous of course :).
I am not ready to go back to reality but I miss the kids. We have talked to Noah every night so far and that has been great. So, for now that is all really. Hopefully life will stay uneventful for the next few months or so, so that I can try and get some projects done and even have a little time to myself before10 at night! HA! we will see.... Hope everyone has a beautiful day! xo

Its pumpkin time!

 

 

Its pumpkin time! One of my favorite times of the year is fall. I love getting the kids out to the pumpkin patch. I feel like it makes it really seem like fall. The leaves are starting to turn, the temperature is getting chilly, and everything is pumpkin flavored..(I love you pumpkin spice latte..) The kids had a blast picking out pumpkins and playing. Hoping that next week we can pick apples! xo

RAIN!

Today was such a cloudy rainy day. Took the kids to the doctor and Nora slept almost all afternoon because she had 6 shots...poor baby. So, Noah and I took advantage of the rain. I used to LOVE playing in puddles when I was little. Noah loved it too. Cannot wait until Nora walks and comes outside to splash with us! xo