Pretty much fed up!

I want to start off by stating that this post is probably going to make some people very angry. I am in no way writing this personally to anyone. This is a subject that has been shoved in my face for 14 years and I honestly cannot take it anymore. I was scrolling through Facebook last night when I came across a religious post that someone had posted about women these days and why women of the apostolic religion do the things that they do and believe the things that they believe. It was all fine and dandy until it went on talking about us non apostolic women and why we do the things that we do. I am absolutely fed up and refuse to listen to it anymore. So, if you don't want to get offended, I suggest you stop right here and go on with you beliefs. Your beliefs that I have NO problem with at all and respect, until you start to judge mine.

So, lets talk about my problem with some people in this religion. A religion that forces their beliefs on us Christians with the intent on making us want to come follow the same path that they are on. This is a path that we are told will lead you to a life of peace. A place to really experience a true relationship with Christ. One where we can come to know him with all of our hearts and souls. Our lives will be better and no one else's beliefs will even be able to compare. I can tell you first hand that that is not the experience that I had with the church. I attended service with my then boyfriend/now husband on and off throughout the years that we dated. I usually left service feeling judged and mentally exhausted. I never grew up in church but I was very cautious of this God that was being represented to me at this place. I knew all about Jesus and that he died for our sins and that he loved each and every one of us unconditionally. I pretty much grew up on the basics but this was a new addition. A God that seemed always angry. But if I were to conform to their ways, maybe that would change?

Changing was never really a thought that ran through my head. The standards alone are what made me think it wasn't going to happen. I never thought of myself as slutty, or manly or unholy by the way I dressed. I dressed comfortable, even practical. Not once in my life did I think that it would be fun to try to get the attention of men in hopes that they would commit a sin! That was never who I was. So, I see these women with their uncut hair, no makeup, and skirts...to name a few... and I don't get it. To anyone that looks hard enough, they can see that the place is surrounded by double standards. "Don't color your hair" ..but you can perm it. "Don't wear makeup" ...but bronzer, clear mascara, and lip-gloss is ok. "Don't polish your nails!" ...but its ok to get acrylics put on! Please ladies, please tell me why its ok to pick and choose and then judge me on my appearance. I'm being REAL! I read last night a post about women these days conforming to the ways of the world, and why we cut our hair and wear the clothes that we do. I don't cut my hair for ANYONE but me! Not because whoever in Hollywood did it! I don't care. I cut my hair because number one, its HEALTHY!!!! and number 2, because I have baby fine thin hair that is much easier and faster to take care of when its short. It seems a bit impractical to grow my hair to floor length, roll it up in rollers every single day and then proceed to morph it into an elaborate up do for the sake of Jesus loving me when I have a family and a husband to attend to. And lets not forget that it is take completely out of context in the bible.  If you take it literal is its implied than women should have long hair and men should only have shaved heads. Yet how can you take your hair off only when praying and prophesying in public which is what the scripture says. Also how was it ok for a woman to take the Nazareth vow and yet at the end it commands the hair to be shaved. For the women to say I'm sinning because I wear jewelry but that's not taken out of context? Does the same verse also give the examples of braiding of hair and fine clothes? Pick and choose I guess.

Lets not forget pants! Yes, I wear pants. I wear them because they are comfortable, practical and they keep me warm. You say I am dressing like a man? Never in my life have I put on a pair of men's jeans. Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't Deuteronomy 22:5 says..."A woman must not wear men's clothing, nor a man wear women's clothing, for the Lord detests anyone who does this. SO, what's the problem. I'm wearing women's jeans. And guess what? Pants were not even hears of in the bible!!! THEY ALL WORE ROBES!!! Does it say men must wear pants and women must wear skirts? NO!!! so if you want to take it literally, put on your robes ladies and stop judging us. I also am offended by some saying that me wearing pants is immodest. I have been to enough church services and seen my fair share of pencil skirts, fish net tights, and stiletto heels. BUT, my jeans and sweater are making men all over the place sin!!

After commenting on a Facebook post yesterday that prompted this whole rant,  I was told that I have a lack of faith. It makes me crazy that anyone can say that we Christians do not have a full on relationship with God because we do not have the same beliefs. No other religion has ever made me feel this way before, and I can say that NO other pastor of a church has ever looked me in the eye and told me I was going to hell. That's right! That is the experience that I have with this religion. Being told you are going to hell seems like a favorite subject to preach about. Really the only one I remember...because it was basically every week. My husband and I were baptized not even a year ago in a church that we considered Home. We were baptized in the "Father, Son, and Holy Ghost". From what we are being told back is that it meant nothing since it was not in the name of "Jesus". For a church that prides itself in taking the Bible literal, we both found it hard to believe that all the MANY times it was said (even by Jesus himself) throughout the Bible to do it that way, the one time a MAN says it was the only correct way. How is it that taking a verse literal some how is then taken and interpreted to really be saying something else. I can't find one verse that said to be baptized in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit which is Jesus. Do I believe baptism is required, absolutely as it is stated throughout scripture.

  Next is speaking in tongues to be saved. Once again basing a belief on A scripture. Does not the bible say that speaking in tongues is a gift? Does it also say that not all people are given the same gifts? So if not everyone is given the same gift that not everyone can speak in tongues. Does not the bible also say that no more than two or three should speak in tongues at one time unless there is one to interpret? That NEVER happened at a single church service.

 So, if anyone else wants to go posting articles on Facebook that blast the everyday Christian believer for not walking the same path, I will promptly delete you. I have walked a very ugly road in the past few years. A road that has brought me straight to my creator when it easily could have done the opposite! He is the one that held my hand through the worst and to the light. For ANYONE to tell me that its still not good enough can just stick it where the sun don't shine. I don't have room for you in my life. Pick up your bible and read more than just a few scriptures that you alone have decided are the way the truth and the light. My husband and I have done just this! And I can promise you that we are loved by God and are paving OUR path to heaven because we live our lives to give glory to GOD!! Not by how we dress, what color I paint my nails, or what I do with my hair, but by how we live our lives! How we spend our time, and how we treat others. Its not about me! So, before you go off on another rant about my lack of faith or knowledge, pray about it. Know that I am NOT under any circumstance trying to get anyone to change their beliefs, standards or faith because of what I wrote! I am simply telling you to stop trying to make me feel unworthy because of mine! God is #1 in my life no matter what you think and I can promise you that his love for me is absolutely no less than his love for you.