Exhausted

I am exhausted. This is our first baby that is a terrible sleeper. We are up every two hours. This one is rough because my pregnancy with Aden was a little harder. I feel like like I haven't slept a full night in close to a year.  I'm used to it but it's still no fun. I'm irritable and have no patience. I find it hard to give Noah and Nora the attention they deserve on a daily basis. This is just hard. But I knew it would be! This was a huge decision for us last year. I was on the fence with a third for years. But i never felt complete. It was one of those things that I knew in my heart I would regret years later if I never did it. I prayed like crazy about it. When it became a reality, I felt like I was about to make my world complete. That is an amazing feeling. And here we are one year later and I'm so tired! I remember again why I hate the newborn stage! If they could talk, it may be easier. I sat here tonight and fought back tears while I zipped up a very tight pair of newborn Jammie's on Aden. I stared at the new little rolls on his legs while we gave him a bath tonight. I cannot believe this is it. That part of my life is over. The part where we get excited to try to have a baby! The part where I get excited about a growing belly, giving birth, and a brand new baby.  It's not going to happen again. I cannot believe it. Sure we could always have one more, but I know better. I am full. This is what I wanted. I have never wanted 4 so I'm done. Maybe it's just making me feel old?  I'm not sure what it is. Most likely it's hormones. I feel so lucky. I say that a lot! Noah and Nora are crazy little monsters. They try my patience on a sometimes hourly basis. And I'm not always the mom I dreamed I would be. But I'm blessed. If you would have asked me years ago about kids, I would have told you I wanted a girl and a boy... And if I had three, I wanted another boy. I got exactly what I wanted. In the order I wanted. And they are beautiful. I am so blessed. I know I say it a lot, but if only my mom and dad could see them.  They would think I was crazy! They would also be crazy in love with all three of them.  I know that. Anyways, that about sums up my thoughts for today.  Now I'm off to wrap presents... Because it's the day before Christmas eve and I haven't wrapped a single gift! Yikes!! Merry Christmas!! ❤️